No Foolin’: Stochasticity Project Master of Disguise

You know what the big problem is with being well known for playing epic April Fool’s Day jokes on the public at large? The public at large starts to expect them, thus rendering such gags nearly impossible to pull off. Still, building up the status as a supremely self-righteous April Fooler was a fun process for the creative minds at Stone. Announcing we would start brewing a lemon-lime “malternative” beverage, a 27.3% ABV extra-strong ale, and a “lo-carb” beer (“Lite™” was trademarked), we’ve used this faux holiday to explore miles of territory we’d never tread in real life…and even some we would.

On April 1, 2010, we told our fans we’d be teaming with our Scottish brewing comrades at BrewDog to craft BrewDog / Stone Luciferin Golden Imperial Stout, a high-alcohol stout coming in at 11.8% alcohol-by-volume with plenty of roasty flavor. There was just one catch—it wouldn’t incorporate any roasted malts and it wouldn’t be brown in color. So, basically, it would be different from every stout on the planet. Nobody with a working knowledge of calendars bought it and, though it was, essentially a joke, our brewmaster, Mitch Steele, filed that idea away and spent the next four years secretly pondering how he’d create a golden-hued stout. And we’re glad he did, because now that imaginary beer has been brewed into brilliant reality. Enter, Stochasticity Project Master of Disguise.

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While this beer, the latest in our experimental and otherwise avant-garde series of Stochasticity Project brews, is slightly lower in alcohol than its fictitious predecessor—9.7%, to be exact—it’s actually quite similar to the concept for the prank that inspired it. In teasing BrewDog / Stone Luciferin Golden Imperial Stout, we said it relied on cacao nibs and coffee to mimic the chocolaty, roast-heavy flavors of a traditional imperial stout, and pale and extra pale malts to keep the color in the lower expanses of the SRM scale (the Standard Reference Method used to grade beer’s color). For Master of Disguise, Steele employed all of these tactics, and more!

Steele reached out to familiar conspirators, Ryan Bros. Coffee and Chocovivo. The latter provides pure cocoa in large, thin sheets, which add tremendous chocolate character as shown in Chris Banker/Stone/Insurgente Xocoveza Mocha Stout, while the former is based a few short miles from our brewery and has contributed roasted beans for use in numerous beers, including Aleman/Two Brothers/Stone DayMan Coffee IPA, 2013 Stone ESPRESSO Imperial Russian Stout and Stone Coffee Milk Stout. The fruits of our suppliers’ labors played a big part in helping Steele pull off this charade, as did the malt bill, which consisted purely of lighter varieties including Caraplis, and English amber and pale malts. Flaked oats were also added to give the beer a thicker mouth-feel more in line with what one expects from a smooth, velvety stout.

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So, Master of Disguise looks like a pale ale or IPA, but there was more to this endeavor than aesthetics. The aroma, taste and composition were every bit as important—what good is a beer if it doesn’t taste delicious, after all? Fortunately, the chocolate, coffee and oats did the trick with this treat of a beer, which presents notes of java in the bouquet and the front palate. Chocolate comes through mid-sip, conveyed by a slightly viscous body akin to an oatmeal stout in its creaminess, and the finish features a light yet lasting roastiness. Stochasticity Project Master of Disguise is the physically embodied proof of a lofty hypothesis. Let’s just hope Steele isn’t as keen to realize other Stone April Foolery like Bastard Oxide, a metal-laced energy drink, or BastardSHOTZ, 22 ounces of Arrogant Bastard Ale condensed into three ounces of gel conveniently doled into three-ounce, EZ-squeeze “Gel Pakz” for on-the-go American strong ale enthusiasts, or the canned and helium-infused Stochasticity Project CrHeam Ale.

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Stats & Tasting Notes by Brewmaster Mitch Steele

  • ABV: 9.7%
  • IBUs: 55 IBUs
  • Availability: Limited22-ounce bottles and draft, beginning November 17
  • Hop Bill: Liberty and Nugget
  • Distribution: AK, AL, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DC, DE, FL, GA, IA, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, ME, MI, MN, MO, MT, NC, NE, NH, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OH, OR, PA, RI, SC, TN, TX, VA, VT and WA
  • Appearance: Pours deep gold, with a light tan head.
  • Aroma: Coffee aromatics dominate. Roasted notes and cocoa play in the background, until the beer warms in the glass, and then they are pleasantly apparent along with fruity esters from the yeast and hints of vanilla.
  • Taste: At first, the flavor is mostly coffee and fruity esters from the fermentation. As the flavor progresses, more cocoa comes out, along with a balanced bitterness.
  • Palate: Full-bodied and smooth
  • Overall: After we brewed Stone 11th Anniversary Ale, a black IPA, someone on the brewery team joked that our next beer should be a golden stout. We then used that joke for an April Fool’s gag one year, and I’ve been wondering if we could pull it off ever since. The resulting beer here is a rich strong ale with prevalent coffee and cocoa notes.

Suggested Pairings by “Dr.” Bill Sysak

  • Appetizers: Bacon-wrapped dates, coconut shrimp, blue cheese-stuffed mushrooms, spiced pumpkin seeds
  • Soups: French onion, beef stew, lentils, chili con carne
  • Entrées: Lamb chops, coffee-rubbed venison, mushroom risotto, red lentil curry
  • Cheeses: Aged Cheddar, Maytag Blue, Grana Padano, Rogue Creamery Smokey Blue
  • Desserts: Brownies, vanilla ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, tiramisu
  • Cigars: Padrón 1964 Anniversary Series Maduro, Liga Privada No. 9 by Drew Estate, Illusione MJ12 Maduro, Arturo Fuente Opus X

 

We Three Bastards: Arrogant Bastard Ale’s Extended Family

‘Tis almost the time of year when children of all ages shall belt out in their most joyous tones the tale-telling tune of three kings bringing forth gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh (looks like two of these regal sorts were slightly less generous than the golden one). But before the season of yule arrives, the attention of those with the power to discern what is truly excellent from what is only marketed to appear superior shall fall upon what is truly the most wonderful time of the year—Bastard Season. As if my birthday (November 7 for those looking to graduate from ignoramus to Worthy) and Arrogant Bastard Day (#BastardDay is November 1) weren’t reason enough to celebrate (it is), the proverbial ante is upped each November when I bring the lesser-seen members of my Liquid Arrogance lineage into the equation, sharing the spotlight just long enough to take the revelry to the utmost level before plunging my spawn back behind the curtain for another 11 months. Given the brief nature of their time at center-stage, I shall throw them—and you—a bone, allowing them to bask in your adoration as you take in their magnificence. Just remember who was first. These Bastards would literally be nothing without Yours Truly.

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Once one has discovered they possess the gene that allows them to not only comprehend, but greatly appreciate the riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a 22-ounce enigma that is Arrogant Bastard Ale, they do not go back to mass-produced industrial swill. In fact, they find themselves succumbing to the sudden urge to go even further. My answer to that is Double Bastard Ale, a version of the Liquid Arrogance brewed to be brawnier, not as an enticing value-added to blockheads and frat bros looking to beat the bar or get, as they so eloquently put it, “crunk.” Hardly. Double Bastard Ale registers higher on the ABV scale because that makes this mighty spawn of my liquid loins ideal for aging, not just a few months (or days if you, like so many others, find it irresistible to wait much longer than that to quaff such an other-worldly brew), but years. The eldest of this proud creation, the original vintage dating back to 1998, is not only holding up, but holding its own, bringing new and poignant meaning to the term timeless.

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Double Bastard Ale plays an integral role in the every-other-year conjuring of another form of Liquid Arrogance, Lukcy Basartd Ale. And so do I. Lukcy Basard Ale is something so ambitious, it’s best if mere mortals attempt it just once every 730 days, lest their puny brains buckle under the pressure of harnessing not one, but three editions of the Arrogance to produce one grand cru cuvee of such magnificence it will bring tears to the eyes of both the Worthy and inferior. The latter will cry as their faces contort into an expression resembling that of the “bitter beer face” ad campaign run by Big Beer Sellouts R Us back in the ‘80s, while the former will shed salty streams of fluid joy. Lukcy Basartd Ale is a masterful blending of Arrogant Bastard Ale, Double Bastard Ale and OAKED Arrogant Bastard Ale (the last of which just joined my other relatives as a once-in-a-while release after several years trying to hang with me year-round) designed to be consumed at the peak of freshness—yes, astute reader, the opposite of the cellarable Double Bastard Ale. It’s more than most can handle, making it all the more special for those who’ve proven up to that feat since Lukcy Basartd Ale’s 2010 debut.

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Then there’s the youngster of the bunch, a limb on the family tree that, while presently short and stubby, is oaken to the core and will undoubtedly grow to scrape the sky with the rest of the upper echelon members of this storied clan—Bourbon Barrel-Aged Arrogant Bastard Ale. Life has nothing to do with killing time, but to make this no-brainer of an American strong ale a reality, I endured months of sequestering in the pitch-black, closed quarters of a vanillin- and whiskey-laced oak vessel. Normally, being relegated to solitary confinement would anger me, but knowing it was for the greater good of mankind, and the proliferation of the most noble bloodline within the netherworld of craft beer, I bore down (there was no way you’d find me grinning), bided my time and spent those months contemplating what I would become, figuring if something as puny as a caterpillar can, by virtue of little more than time spent in a chrysalis, can emerge as a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly, there would be no words to describe the magnificence of what an already incredible specimen such as myself would become after emerging, born anew, from those bourbon barrels. Adjectives fail as adequate descriptors, but I’ll venture some all the same: amazing, awe-inspiring, hellishly heavenly, jaw-dropping, life-changing and myriad other synonyms plucked from the second half of the alphabet.

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Myself and the esteemed aforementioned relatives have been crammed unceremoniously into a snug and simple-yet-stylish Arrogant Bastard Box so that those who aspire to experience the best of the best may do so in ceremonious fashion. And though the niche component of the population that can step to this level of amazingness is rather small, these legions grow larger every day, meaning that red-and-black box of awesome shalt last long. (Read: Hurry up or be the sad sack that misses the bus and has to watch as the truly Worthy—and immensely elated—pull out of the depot.)

Post-Script: If you have the gall and daring to climb even higher up my family tree or peek into its dark knothole, the origins of three more of my other descendants, Crime, Punishment and Southern Charred can be found here.

Classic Combo: Stone Smoked Porter w/Chocolate & Orange Peel

A Mandarin orange wedge dipped in molten ganache, a Grand Marnier-infused 70% cacao truffle, a velvety sweet craft cocktail combining Cointreau and chocolate liqueur, one of those holiday specialty confections that looks like a milk chocolate orange and breaks apart into delicious citrusy-sweet segments…heck, even something as simple as a piece of chocolate and a slice of orange. Regardless of the edible example one references, the symbiotic flavors of chocolate and orange are as plentiful as they are scrumptious. So, when looking for yet another way to use complimentary ingredients to augment our time-honored recipe for Stone Smoked Porter, we decided to lean on this long-time favorite and add our own incredible iteration of cocoa-citrus pairability to the world. Enter Stone Smoked Porter w/Chocolate & Orange Peel, the third transformatively enchanting version of this peat-smoked stalwart to be bottled and distributed to Stone fans.

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The history of our special editions of this beer date back over half-a-decade ago, when Small Batch Brewer Laura Ulrich was wowed by a beer float featuring a hefty scoop of vanilla bean ice cream afloat in a pint glass filled with…you guessed it, Stone Smoked Porter. It got her to thinking about ways to bring that flavor to life in a beer sans dairy confections. She went on to infuse industrial strength Madagascar vanilla beans into a pilot brew and subsequently blow the minds of her Stone brethren and sistren, including Co-founder and CEO Greg Koch. Stone Smoked Porter w/Vanilla Bean is a big reason Greg was so receptive when our Merchandising mastermind Chris Carroll suggested infusing chili peppers into the beer to create a craft alternative to fizzy, yellow cerveza for Cinco de Mayo. Harnessing a chili with a low heat index and smokiness built to match that of the beer, Stone Smoked Porter w/Chipotle Peppers was born. This brief history begs the question: What was the impetus behind Stone Smoked Porter w/Chocolate & Orange Peel. The answer: Greg wanted to see what else the Brew Crew could do with this beer.

The brewers kicked around numerous ideas, and the one they kept gravitating toward was something dubbed the “Stone Smoked Porter—Autumn Addition Edition,” where we would harvest fall-time herbs, spices, fruits, gourds and who knows what else from Stone Farms to bring the essence of autumn to life within this masterful dark ale. The Brew Crew took steps down that crunchy, red and orange leaf-strewn road until, one day, the idea of adding cacao nibs and orange peel to mirror the aforementioned classic chocolate-citrus combo came about. The suggestion was shouted from the rooftops or penned on a whiteboard in towering, bold letters. It was uttered at a most normal volume and tone, but it resonated as though delivered in a booming voice descending from the heavens all the same. It was clear this the best direction for us to go, so Brewmaster Mitch Steele immediately changed course, brewing a pilot batch of this beer that made it clear this was, indeed, the way for us to go.

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The name Stone Smoked Porter w/Chocolate & Orange Peel is actually a bit of a misnomer, since there is no actual chocolate in the beer. Cacao nibs—roasted pieces of cacao beans—provide the bitter notes of chocolate in its purest form while also introducing an earthen spiciness that complements the porter’s peat-induced smoke. Pure cacao liqueur (pure cocoa without any sugar or dairy added) is added during the brew, then the beer is steeped with cacao nibs for chocolaty intensity. Those characteristics are contrasted beautifully by the orange peel, which also brightens up the beer’s overall taste profile. It took a while to get to this chapter in the Stone Smoked Porter saga—more than five years, actually—but like most of the greatest things in life, additional time translated to something phenomenal. Cheers to a most splendid fourth chapter in a tremendously delightful tale.

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Stats & Tasting Notes by Brewmaster Mitch Steele

  • ABV: 5.9%
  • IBUs: 53 IBUs
  • Availability: Limited22-ounce bottles and draft, beginning October 20
  • Hop Bill: Magnum and Mt. Hood
  • Distribution: AK, AL, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DE, FL, GA, ID, IL, IN, KY, LA, MA, MD, ME, MI, MO, MT, NC, NH, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OH, OR, PA, RI, SC, TN, TX, VA, VT, WA, and Puerto Rico
  • Appearance: Pours deep brown with a tan head.
  • Aroma: Peat-smoked malt, orange peel and coffee with hints of cocoa.
  • Taste: First impression is the smoky flavor from the peat-smoked malt that characterizes our regular Stone Smoked Porter, followed immediately by a blast of orange peel and citrus. Cocoa and roast malt characters follow, but the orange peel is particularly prominent in the aftertaste.
  • Palate: Medium body with a light sweetness and citrus tang, along with balanced hop bitterness.
  • Overall: This is a fun beer to brew. We’ve loved this orange and chocolate flavor in beer for a long time, and our team has made several casks of this particular version that are always very popular. The orange notes blend in well with the dark-roasted malt character, and the peat-smoked malt adds layers of flavor.

Suggested Pairings by “Dr.” Bill Sysak

  • Appetizers: Goatcheese-stuffed mushrooms, coconut shrimp, bacon-wrapped dates, pulled pork sliders, hummus, artichoke dip
  • Soups: Beef stew, lentil, New England-style clam chowder, French onion soup, chili con carne
  • Entrées: Pork tenderloin, lamb chops, filet mignon, stuffed Poblano peppers, Indian yellow curry
  • Desserts: Tiramisu, chocolate lava cake, oatmeal cookies, pecan pie, vanilla ice cream

Tongue Twister: Stochasticity Project Hibiscusicity

Today, we released upon this nation a beer with the most challenging name in the history of our 18-years-young operation. That’s saying a lot considering we’re the craft brewers who brought you such multi-syllabic wonders as Drew Curtis/Wil Wheaton/Greg Koch Stone Farking Wheaton w00tstout, Stone Mixtape Ale vol.9 – Goats in the VIP Room Blend, The Bruery/Elysian/Stone La Citrueille Celeste De Citracado and, of course, Stone Suitable For Cave Aging – An Imperial Smoked Porter Tribute to Danny Williams. Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Of course, odd nomenclature is the rule of thumb for the Stochasticity Project, which, since its debut earlier this year, has yielded ales called Varna Necropolis and Quadrotriticale. Before unleashing this new moniker on you, perhaps its best to go back a step and examine a term that’s both plenty perplexing and worth taking a look at—Stochasticity.

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Crowd Pleaser: Chris Banker/Stone/Insurgente Xocoveza Mocha Stout

Picture it…a room full of thirsty beer bloggers, media and industry types seated at tables with tasting glasses. It can be daunting to pour beers for such a discerning crowd—especially one with plenty of dump buckets at their disposal. But that was the mission at hand during a session of the 2014 Beer Bloggers Conference, during which representatives from a number of quality craft breweries (including our friends at The Lost Abbey and Firestone Walker Brewing Company) sought to wow these 150-plus beer enthusiasts with their latest creations. Now, we weren’t nervous. We’re Stone. We save jitters and anxiety for others. We had total faith in what we had to offer, but even so, found ourselves pleasantly surprised with the incredible reception our beer was afforded as well as the myriad compliments it earned. Like us, these people have devoted their entire lives to beer, so to be lauded with kudos and positive reviews was high praise, indeed. Today, that beer, Chris Banker/Stone/Insurgente Xocoveza Mocha Stout, begins showing up on store shelves and draft accounts across the country.

Hoppy Uncharted Territory: Stone 18th Anniversary IPA

We pride ourselves on being unpredictable, but we’re able to be honest with ourselves and say that, when it comes to our annual anniversary beer releases, fans know what to expect—something extremely hoppy! And most years, that means an over-the-top India pale ale. Ten out of the 17 anniversary beers we’ve produced to-date have been IPAs, including the past four consecutive years. So, it should come as no surprise that this year, our milestone-celebrating beer is another IPA. But, much as we’ve refused to be completely predictable with our anniversary IPAs (the past four years have featured an imperial British-style IPA, double black IPA, lemon verbena-infused imperial rye IPA, and 100% German-hopped double IPA), 2014’s commemorative hop monster is extremely original. In fact, we’re billing Stone 18th Anniversary IPA as the “hoppiest golden-brown IPA on Earth!” (Yes, that’s our subtle brand of sarcasm you’re picking up there!)

#PairedWith Wages On: Stone Coffee Milk Stout

When we debuted Stone Saison, we did more than introduce our unique spin on a Belgian-style ale. We also ushered in a new age that allows our fans to get involved with discovering the best-suited edible vehicles for maximum enjoyment of our beers, all thanks to a hashtag—#PairedWith. When Stone Saison came out, we provided a quartet of recipes constructed to pair perfectly with the beer, so fans could prepare them and experience food-and-beer symbiosis for themselves. But we also asked fans to experiment with dishes and ingredients they thought would go well with Stone Saison and share their most successful pairings on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest using #PairedWith. It was fun, educational and, at times, even surprising, and lots of people from beer- and food-bloggers to everyday craft beer nuts, got involved. So, we’re moving forward with our #PairedWith initiative, this time with a beer that’s completely different but amazingly well-suited for sidling up beside a variety of dishes, both savory and sweet—our new Stone Coffee Milk Stout.

Anything But Just Another IPA: Beachwood/Heretic/Stone Unapologetic IPA

We can see the headlines now: Stone makes another IPA! The world is shocked at such a divergence from a company that hardly ever explores hoppy beer styles. Yes, that’s sarcasm! Obviously, no one will be shocked to discover we’re making yet another aggressive IPA. We’ve never tried to hide our lust for hops. Heck, we freely fly our hophead flag. But we’re sure the question will arise. Stone has already made a bunch of IPAs, so why make another. Isn’t the already lupulin-obsessed market saturated with hoppy beers? And who says the world needs another IPA, anyway? We do!

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Long Lost Epic: Stone Stochasticity Project Quadrotriticale

By now, many are familiar with our newest brewing foray, the Stone Stochasticity Project. But even two brews in, you may not be familiar with the term “stochastic,” especially in the context of brewing. The definition of stochasticity is wordy and probably only truly makes sense if you’ve studied Probability Theory in depth (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy doesn’t count—that’s Improbability Theory), but even our one-track minds picked up on the potential and complexity of this idea. In layman’s terms, stochastic is a non-deterministic, or random, state. So, why not just say that? For one, the scientific background would be lost, and random just doesn’t have the same ring as Stochasticity, nor all the connotation. Two, the Stone Stochasticity Project is much more than just brewing beer. It involves delving beyond what most people think about beyond beer’s four main ingredients. So where does that leave us in our ever-evolving quest for good craft beer? Right at the newest member of this series, Stone Stochasticity Project Quadrotriticale, a beer that holds up to the stochastic and technical nature of this venture.

Crank It Up: Kyle Hollingsworth / Keri Kelli / Stone Collective Distortion IPA

Our new double India pale ale, Kyle Hollingsworth / Keri Kelli / Stone Collective Distortion IPA recently wrapped up a whirlwind, coast-to-coast pre-release tour. Considering this fruity and pleasantly earthy brew’s rock star status, it seemed fitting to afford it the touring band treatment its co-creators are used to. That duo consists of The String Cheese Incident keyboardist Kyle Hollingsworth and guitarist Keri Kelli of Alice Cooper and Skid Row fame. Together, like savants providing a reliable backbeat for a most magnificent jam session, the duo guided us toward the recipe for this neo-traditional beer. The hop bill consists of Calypso, Comet and Nugget hops, given staccato-esque punctuation thanks to healthy dry-hopping with Vic’s Secret, a recently introduced hop from Australia. But anybody can come up with an out-there (or Down Under) assemblage of hops. What turns this already blaring imperial IPA up to 11 is spicing from coriander seeds and—a first for us—elderberries. It’s unlike any IPA we’ve ever made…and we’ve made a lot of IPAs!